The Food Contract

I have decided to take the role of that guy my in my middle school who used to mess with everybody (he was infamously known as The Fish and once he sat down next to me in the common room and ripped off a bandage I had on a finger which had got caught in a door. (Btw, what a confidence you need to do something like that haha)). So what I'm gonna do is, I'm gonna continue building on the legacy of The Fish and do mean, unfair bullying of my phobia from the 20th of September until the end of this year. In order to make sure I stay committed to seriously busting my phobias balls like I was that guy Billy Batts in Goodfellas who's messing with Tommy in the bar ("Now, go home and get your fuckin' shine box!") (Footnote 1), I have written and signed a contract, The Food Contract. The Food Contract declares what I have committed to doing and not doing in order to prepare the phobia for a permanent nap in a Hästens bed on the bottom of the Arctic Sea. Please, have a look at the contract below (click on it to open up a bigger version in a new window):




So, the plan is: I'm gonna eat out 4 times every week and out of these 4 times, I will choose one meal that I'm gonna document on this blog with a short analysis of how the eating went accompanied by lovely pictures of the meal. It's gonna be absolutely marvellous!

As a last note in this post, I wanna send out massive props to Ice Skrillah The Human Rolex for interrupting the heist of Iceland to come down and sign the contract as witness at the Thames Valley University library where I printed and scanned the contract. I owe you one, man! Also, it looks like his signature isn't on the contract but actually it is, it's just that you can't see it cause he signed the contract using a pen made of 100% ICE. Thanks again, Skrillah and yeah, I'll help you out next Thursday as a lookout!

Footnote 1: Unfortunately, Billy Batts, as a result of his world-class ball busting, gets stabbed like 10 times with a kitchen knife in the trunk of car in the middle of a forest. However, I assure you that I will be more successful in my ball breaking as I'm actually a very nice guy and don't really mean it, unlike Billy Batts who was just playing cool and while doing that, messed with one of the meanest bad asses of all time.

Billy Batts' World-Class Ball Busting