My Phobia Sleeps with The Fishes: The Original Soundtrack LP (Say Hello to Luca Brasi Records, 2010)

If this blog was a movie it would be directed by Martin Scorsese, Quentin Tarantino and Woody Allen in a ill joint directional all-star team to create an epic saga. There would be three versions of the movie: one English, one Spanish and one Japanese.

In the English version, I would be played by Clint Eastwood.

"Hey man, turn around. I wanna show you something."
In the Spanish version, I would be played by the very friendly looking Danny Trejo.

“Sorry, what did say?......The toilet?......Yeah, it's just to the right at the end of the hall...And bro. Another thing. *Smack*!!
And in the Japanese edition, I would be portrayed by a bad ass version of Totoro.
>
"Damn it, how long are we gonna sit on this branch? It's almost time for Mei's afternoon nap and I haven't even whooped anyone's ass yet."
The phobia would be played in all three versions by Horatio Caine from CSI: Miami. We would face each other in the final scene where he would put on his sunglasses and say something epic in the style of these one-liners:



After delivering the one-liner, he would take off his sunglasses and enter this pose before I blast his head off.

The Soundtrack to the film would have the following tracklist:

1. Nino Rota - Main Title (The Godfather Waltz)



2. Pete Philly & Perquisite – Lazy



3. Hardknox – Fire Like This



4. Biz Markie – I’m Hungry

5. Tony Montana - I could eat a horse (Sample from Scarface)

6. Ennio Morricone – The Good, The Bad & The Ugly (Main Title) (Heard before the final showdown between me and the phobia)




7. Fight On! (Boss Theme from Final Fantasy VII) (Played during the final fight)



8. Nino Rota - Main Title (The Godfather Waltz (Reprise)

9. Kool & The Gang - Celebration (Heard as the credits scroll down on one half of the screen while bloopers are shown on the other)